Big Care (& Simple Tips for Pandemic Times)
Covid19 Pandemic - Post I
Wow, this historic moment on the planet!
First of all, sending you a huge whoosh of care and a massive virtual hug.
Many of you are probably already taking measures to support 'social distancing' and cancelling everything as a prevention tool to help our health care systems, providers, and communities in the coming months - especially the most vulnerable to Covid19.
So, I thought I would compile a little list of ideas you might want to consider - especially if you are already home-bound:
Breathe. Taking three conscious breaths with a hand on our heart or belly soothes our frayed nerves and helps us get out of our heads and into our bodies. We can use this simple tool to shift out of an adrenalized state and into a calmer, more grounded state. (Really, please don't underestimate this simple practice).
Recognize that this global experience will likely be a marathon, not a sprint. I remember when I gave birth, I tried to calm and 'pace myself' in the early stages of labour. I didn't want to get over-excited and adrenalized and then be depleted when I would really need my energy reserves at the end. My understanding is that Covid19 is likely going to give us a run for our money for much of this year, with many unpredictable variables at play. I don't share this prediction in a 'doom and gloom' way: I'm intending it to be a pragmatic reflection that we may do well to calm ourselves as often as we can, recognizing that this is likely only the start of this historic event, with all its health, social, and economic implications.
Slow down. One of my favourite mentors, Martha Beck, recently wrote a little love note reminding people that disorientation and confusion are par for the course in such a moment of rapid change. (Umm, pretty much none of us except a few 102+ year-olds has ever gone through a global pandemic before, right?) As Martha says, the mantra for a time like this is, "I don't know what the hell is going on - and that's ok." Her encouragement is that we pause, don't rush any big decisions (as possible), and ride out even just the new few weeks to gather more information about how to wisely adapt and respond to these times. See if you can notice when you are tipping towards panic or urgency, try those three breaths and slow yourself down.
Nurture Daily Structure: as your typical routines shift, you may benefit from creating a temporary schedule for yourself and/or your loved ones. Part of helping ourselves stay grounded when it feels like 'normal' just got pulled from under our feet is to create some new structure - however small in scale. Consider the basics, like your meals and sleep rhythms; your work; the need for fresh air, some sunshine, and movement; and also about what you need or want to do during these uncertain times (read great books, create an art project, etc...?). Create a little daily or weekly schedule that can support, anchor and ground you: it can make a big difference to exercise our agency in ways we can to counteract our experience of vulnerability and loss of control in our greater lives and circumstances. If you've got young kids, here's a schedule sample from home play space expert and educator, Connie Husson. P.S. Can I just say, I also think it's ok if there is a little more 'show' in your house than usual (for kids and adults)? I say, yes, do all the 'healthy' things - and cut yourself some slack! ;)
Reach Out & Connect: check on your elderly neighbour or someone vulnerable in your area. Call your friends or relatives. Use social media and virtual tools for good - share an uplifting story, important educational updates from trustworthy sources, your art, or jokes and clever memes to give us all some much needed laughter or positive healthy distraction. When we feel part of a bigger positive movement - even if physical distancing is the best way to care for one another right now - love and connection nourish and stabilize us.
Look for the Good & Give the Good: I don't know about you but in the midst of reading destabilizing news and already witnessing some upsetting actions by panicked people, I'm also seeing so many individuals, businesses, and organizations stepping up their creativity and generosity at this moment in an effort to pivot, innovate, and serve each other. You're not alone - share your gifts and let's keep amplifying and inspiring the good stuff in the midst of challenge.
Consider Sacred Rituals: Savour the small things as sacred - your bath, an evening cup of tea, an afternoon kitchen dance party, or a daily phone call with a loved one. Small practices and rituals can ground and nourish us as we surf waves of radical change and unpredictability.
Take Media Pauses: Please give yourself media breaks. I'm not by any means advocating that you ostrich yourself but consider setting some consistent boundaries around when you will and won't check the latest articles, turn the radio on, or scroll Facebook or Insta. I think cultivating this discipline ASAP will help us stay less compulsively adrenalized and frenetically glued to our screens, and to be more healthfully present, embodied and connected to ourselves and the places and people around us. (Ahem, trying to get there myself!).
Keep Calm & Carry On. I think Martha Beck's FB Live video on handling our fear and anxiety is brilliant. If you're feeling freaked out, it's a gem. (She's always a little silly at the beginning, which will either be your cup or tea or not - but I suggest you keep on with it). Managing our fears, nourishing our sense of strength and resiliency, is so crucial. No matter what's happening, we can take good care of our fear and help settle ourselves. I believe that the more we do so, the more love, strength, and support we can offer not only to ourselves but the world - whether that's our partner, our kid, our neighbour or our local health care professionals.
Bonus: Tara Brach and her dharma talks are also an amazing spiritual resource for nourishing your equilibrium. (If you're new to her, you're welcome!)
For now, a Buddhist blessing for you:
May you be calm.
May you be happy.
May you be free from harm and suffering.
May you be free.
May you be peaceful.
#YouAreNotAlone #WeAreInThisTogether #ThreeBreaths
P.S. I'll aim to pop into your inbox a little more often over the next while, in order to share a the best care and any resources that may support you. Take wonderful care of yourself and each other - XO, N
Nicola Holmes is a Life Coach who helps people turn their potent questions, dream and longings into inspired action. With warmth and wisdom, she’ll guide you to untangle constraints and cultivate courage to create a more aligned and joyful life. She has a BASc in Human Development, an MEd in Adult Learning and spent two decades working in the non-profit sector. Along with coaching for the past 14 years, she’s mama to two young spirited kids and dedicated to Buddhism. Having experienced long Covid and a move over the past two years, she brings deep empathy to others who are exploring how they’ve changed and who they’re becoming in turbulent times. Check out Nicola @nicolaholmescoach or join the email party for inspiration and resources to fuel the changes you want.